Childhood, Family & Relationships
Relationships are central to our lives. Connections and attachments to others are part of what makes life worth living but also challenge us. Pain that we experienced as children and teens can stay with us. Even if we feel that overall we had a pretty good childhood. Disappointments and pain in our relationships with parents, siblings and friends shape and influence us. Not being supported or loved in the way we needed isn’t easy.
Bullying, break-ups, divorce, and grief complicate the already difficult job of growing up. As we grow and develop our lives, academic, career and personal challenges continue. Our identities change around each of these complications and effect our choices in partners, relationships and work.
Moving away from old labels assigned by our teachers or families can be helpful and needed as we look to grow beyond antiquated ideas that were not a true reflection of who we are (even if we worried it was true). Choosing emotionally unavailable partners is often connected to our past but if we are stuck in the pattern, it can be frustrating and even feel impossible to change.
Worrying about not being good enough, pleasing others and fitting in can sometimes increase our unhappiness. Often we want to please others, which can feel okay in the moment, but we aren’t accessing and honoring our own wants and needs. Discovering what you want is a part of our work, as well as saying no when you want and setting healthy boundaries with others.
Our work can help you to move forward in building a healthier relationship with yourself and others. All relationships involve stress; couples disagree and fight. Friends and families have falling outs. In learning more about yourself and what makes you tick, you will communicate more effectively with others and your partner. Looking into the past and understanding it will allow you to move forward to build the relationships you desire today.
"People do not come into therapy
to change their past
but to change their future."
-Milton H. Erickson
Past stuff taking up too much of your life today? Let’s work on changing that